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Look on the Bright Side

June 4, 2007

Women  Some women complain (mostly while hiking, camping, or on long drives with husbands who have a “gotta get there” mentality) that we got the short end of the stick (so-to-speak) when we were not granted an extension from the bladder that allows one to relieve oneself in an upright, non-clothing spotting position. 

Yes, this is a blog about peeing. 

Granted, as a camper-hiker-daytripper, I concede to the inconvenience of pulling one’s pants down in the midst of prickly plants, sharp rocks, or not-so-concealing foliage and relieving oneself. Then there is the issue of cleaning up… and what to do with the tissue (if you’re lucky enough to have tissue…). But in the big picture of peeing moments (and there are many) how often does this really happen? For the other 99% of peeing opportunities I offer the following as a positive view for peeing while sitting down. 

1. You get to rest. Imagine harried mothers and working women having to pee standing up. We’d never get a break! I assert that women should take full advantage of those brief moments throughout the day to sit in a place where there are no phones, no email, and no traffic… even if only for a minute or two. In fact this alone is a reason to drink more water. (Also, a good place to admonish the younger go-getters at work, airports and restaurants to LEAVE YOUR CELL PHONE IN YOUR PURSE!) 

2. Privacy. I mean, who wants to pee in front of the people you work with? Or who work for you? Or who you work for?? Give me a stall with a tidy lock any day, thank you very much. Oh, and do you think the guys ever sneak a peek? I bet they do… 

3. Multi-tasking. When in a hurry I can change out of my work clothes into my evening clothes all in the length of a good pee. OK, this violates rule #1, but hey — how many guys can say, “Look Ma, no hands!”? Show me a man who can change his pants while taking a leak and I’ll show you someone who is either not picky about missed targets or else a guy who has seriously thought about auditioning for Cirque Du Soleil. 

4. Make new friends. Once in awhile we are blessed with the opportunity to stand in line for an available throne. We’re forced into kind of a temporary community — we’re all gathered in one place for a similar event, we’re all there in line with the same goals and objectives, we’ve got something in common to talk about while we wait. Smile at the woman next to you, strike up a conversation and make the best of it! 

The bottom line (no pun intended) is that we women really should not complain about the inconvenience of finding skin-friendly foliage, makeshift rock toilets, or enduring long lines at airports. Rather we should celebrate! It’s a small price to pay for the privilege and lifelong gift of the frequent break. God, of course, knew what He was doing when He made us with the built-in necessity to sit down for a spell — give thanks, and take advantage!

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