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The B.P. Club

April 1, 2008

Once I told a pastor friend of mine I thought he overtly favored “The Beautiful People.” You know, the athletes, successful professionals, the intellectuals, lovely women, handsome and fit men. I thought he went out of his way to befriend them. And I thought he had far less time and patience for those requiring a little extra grace, the folks not so pleasing to the eye, not so socially adept.

I still think I was right. And judgmental.

But that’s not the point.

In looking back I believe I was keen to this insight because I was in the latter group. I was not one of The Beautiful People. I was an insider because I was on staff. But if I walked in off the street I was sure I would not have received the same attention.

I grew up in a blue collar family with an alcoholic father. I do not have a college degree, I’ve lived in a trailer park on welfare, and spent much of my life as a skinny, social misfit.

But over the years I have learned some things: I fell into a job I am good at. I learned what styles of clothing and hairstyles look decent on me, learned to speak to people and make friends. Now once in awhile I find that I “qualify” as a member of the first group. Not all of the time, it depends of course on who is doing the qualifying, doesn’t it?

When I find myself “qualified” it sort of feels good. Believing that even some people include me in The B.P. Club is both wonderful and disheartening.

And it feels wrong.

I am not so different from my old friend. He cultivated friendships with The B.P. perhaps to make his church more successful looking and therefore more attractive to the surrounding upscale community. Perhaps he did it to validate himself. This strikes a chord (albeit, one played on a badly tuned piano). It feels good to think others have placed you in The B.P. category. It feeds the ego, strokes the emotions. And builds bad character.

I think this happens in all kinds of communities. The qualifier is how alike you are to those doing the qualifying.

Regardless of the club in which you are qualified, it’s a relatively small club. It may seem kinda cool while you’re in it, but it’s shallow. Like staring at your navel. The benefits are questionable and you’ll probably find stuff there that’s really not that attractive.

And I wonder what people outside the club think.

Do they think, ‘Jesus’?

Do they think, ‘inclusive’?

Do they think, ‘welcoming’?

Or do they feel excluded, unwelcome, less valued? And when they learn you are Christ follower, what do they think of your Christ?

Don’t get me wrong: Having certain qualities—beauty, intelligence, financial acumen, professional savvy, athletic or musical talent—are good things, God-given gifts. It is the willing acceptance of, or seeking to gain entrance into, some kind of “better than others” group that is dark. It’s got satan’s fingerprints all over it.

I am reasonably sure Jesus wasn’t in The B.P. Club when He was here. He hung with the fringe. He lambasted the people who had their religion tight. He went out of his way to avoid those who thought they had it together and spend time with those who didn’t.

He would’ve visited me in the trailer park. He would’ve avoided me at The B.P Club.

If being in The B.P. Club means not being where Jesus is, I don’t want a membership after all.

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3 comments

  1. Great post! Your insights are always so great to read. I’ve never been one of the B.P. club, never will be, but I’m getting more and more comfortable in the margins every day. You meet the best people there.


  2. Carla says : I absolutely agree with this !


  3. yes! 🙂 I guess I should start by saying hello. it’s been a little while 🙂 but I agree… in fact I think I might have worked with someone very similar 🙂 All of us on staff would talk about who was this weeks “favorite friend.” I am very thankful that God does not play favorites based on how you perform for him. it is funny to me how most everyone who I have talked to since they have left that church have come to many of the same revelations of God’s grace, mercy, and LOVE.



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